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.---. .________________
/ \ \|/ / __________)
/ / / \(. .)/ __________)
////// ' (_) ` _________)
//// / / : : _________)
// / / / ` '________)
// / / //---\\
+----------------// /--------UU---UU----------------------------+
| '//,,,\\` |
| |
| .......... .......... |
| ... ... ... ... |
| .. .. .. .. |
| . ... . |
| . . |
| . Pauline . |
| . "Ma Ducks" . |
| . Schwendinger . |
| . . |
| --,---'--<@ . Founder . @>--`---,-- |
| --,---'--<@ . . @>--`---,-- |
| --,---'--<@ .. July 1996 .. @>--`---,-- |
| --,---'--<@ .. .. @>--`---,-- |
| --,---'--<@ .. .. @>--`---,-- |
| --,---'--<@ .. .. @>--`---,-- |
| ..... |
| |
| Bon vivant Poetry Writer Kind Heart |
| |
| Who took us under her wing and gave us our playground |
| |
| * * * |
| |
| Once upon a time there was a perfectly normal seeming |
| writer named Pauline Schwen who was a regular |
| participant in the WRITING echo. Now the WRITING echo |
| might seem like an echo to deal with the art and |
| craft of writing to the normal, but to writers and |
| participants it is familiarly known as the Tavern and |
| is a place where strange beings converse and strange |
| things occur. |
| |
| Now in the days of yore yon Tavern was being crowded |
| off the etherwaves by a plethora of posts from poets |
| and general off-topic chatter. In order to keep the |
| Tavern alive serious pruning was necessary, if |
| regrettable and somewhat painful. |
| |
| The moderatorial entity of the time was the Great |
| Hossie whose enforcer was a Guido. Aside from |
| creating a large gaping hole in the back wall of the |
| Tavern when someone invited him to shoot pool and he |
| did so with heavy weaponry, Guido was becoming |
| overworked in the crowded conditions of the Tavern |
| and had even been known to go missing. The |
| aforementioned participant, Pauline, decided to start |
| her own echo to draw off some of the overflow by |
| creating an area for the offtopic chatter, just as |
| Claire created a place for poets of proper |
| perspective by creating MUSE. Where MUSE can be |
| reached by a separate entrance from the Tavern, and |
| is in fact a room in Claire's house, Pauline decided |
| that her echo would be what we found if we ventured |
| through the hole in the wall that Guido had |
| accidentally brought into being. |
| |
| What those who were brave enough to venture through |
| the hole in the wall found on the other side was a |
| Beach. Rose arbors were built and patio furniture |
| was produced, but it was discovered that those |
| prosaic activities did not fully activate the |
| ambiance of a virtual reality that had come into |
| being through a virtual happenstance of another |
| virtual reality. There was another dimension away |
| from Real Life that needed to be addressed. |
| |
| Those lucky beings able to obtain the Beach in the |
| heady far off days before backboning elicited the |
| assistance of the Star Trek virtual reality and were |
| able to constuct this window in the spacetime |
| continuim that you don't see before you today. Once |
| the atmospheric controls were established and the |
| barrier between reality and virtuality was erected, |
| it was found that the folk who had previously been |
| human in the Tavern morphed into the alterbeings they |
| had secretly been all their lives. |
| |
| Fang, the Boa Constructor, perpetually builds and |
| rebuilds aspects of the Beach to accomodate the needs |
| of the incoming virtual beings. The seemingly normal |
| Pauline had tapped into magnificent wells of |
| silliness previously unsuspected, and a totally other |
| virtual reality had been created and took on a life |
| of its own. |
| |
| Now known lovingly as Ma Ducks, our founder and |
| foremother, Pauline led us into a world of joy and |
| offtopicness previously unknown in the universe. |
| Backboning followed, whereby others like myself who |
| had been unable to get through the hole in the wall |
| were able to log on and become Bardies for life. |
| |
| The one, the only, the much loved Ma Ducks fell ill |
| and was absent from The Beach for a prolonged time. |
| The Gumbie Cat was proclaimed Momderator Pro-Tem to |
| keep the twits at bay during the absence of the |
| Ducky. When the Ducky returned and was to retake the |
| holobeach controls, she suddenly and unexpectedly |
| vanished in the middle of the transition period, |
| leavin the Momderator unexpectedly alone in the |
| control room. Even the Weasel Patrol couldn't find |
| the missing Ducky. |
| |
| The Gumbie Cat became a Gumbie Tigress, but was still |
| alone in the control room. When the Gumbie Tiger |
| found the Real World intruding on her virtual |
| availablity, she ellicited the assistance of the |
| Captain of the Weasel patrol to keep the Beach |
| patrolled pending the return of Ma Ducks. The Ducky |
| has yet to be seen, and as assistant to the Moderator |
| Captain, the Phoenix continues the ceaseless seeking |
| of the missing Duck, inventor of the Beach, founder |
| of Bardroom, creator of this lovely non-place of |
| friendship and joy. |
| |
| *) Laurie lucky to be here Phoenix |
| 23 June 96 |
| |
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
OVERHEAD VIEW:
<- 20 meters -> <---------------- 50 meters ----------------->
wave maker
+-------------------+---+--------------I--------I---------------------+
| |c | <- cliff beach basin \ ice |
| |h r| 20 x 50 meters I_berg|
| |a o| (deep portion 30 meters) I___|
| |n o|.............................................|
| full |g m| (shallow portion 10 meters max) |
| service |i s| |
| holodeck |n | |
| |g / I <--wharf |
| | |______I________________________________________|
| |- 0 wading | |
| = pool -> |____|
+-------------------= * ___ 0 *|
| engineering | Oak / \ * XXX X |
| deck = Tree : : 0XXXX |
+-------------------= * \___/ QWKsand /-^-\ |
| I______________I |* * XXX pit I I|
|* bar *| 0 0 @ \-v-/ =
| = HOLOBEACH
| blastdoors --> | 50 x 50 meters landing %
| = field for->
| rock- | [ ] b-b-q X X X Mk8 ships =
|* maple *| o 3 _1 pit ----------+--------- |
| doors |* O 2 (_) <- cauldrons 0X |* yogurt coffee *|
+------I-----I------+----------------------------+---------+----------+
LEGEND: ^ north ^
* = replicator < west east >
0 = terminal v south v
X = palm tree
@ = DANGER sign (skull and crossbones [welded to the floor])
% = magnetic lock to landing field (also suitable for X and Y wing
fighters, federation shuttles, 747s, et al; the Mk8 Mod Jx is an
intra/extra-atmospheric fighter craft indigenous to the Hornet
universe.)
SPECS:
-Sand: Bermuda white; depth: six inches/30 cm
-Water: salt
-Power: twin megawatt fusion reactors (not shown, but outside of walls)
-Doors: broad rock maple leaves with silhouttes of WilBard on both sides
-Holodeck: federation standard
-Holobeach: SPECIAL SPECIFICATIONS ALLOCATED: holographic affects are
limited to providing South Pacific Paradise background only (attempting
to climb palm trees in search of coconuts is contraindicated)
-Replicators: federation standard
-Terminals: federation standard
-Mortality failsafes: federation standard + special failsafes
-Cauldrons: three cauldrons exist for various purposes
1: Muse-Ick - to soak in as a hot tub
2: Phosporescent Barf Blech - for placement of unruly sorts
3: For placement of echoites in jest
-QWKsand pit: WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! : Originally meant as a
depository for the mortal remains of twits or a method of divesting echo
of same, or as a place to toss echoites in jest, the QWKsand has been
deemed extremely hazardous due to the infestation by an unclassified
life form conjured from the pits of the Netherworld by Daemonform Alex
Silverblaze (absent).
-QWKsand critters: WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! : These specimens are
unclassified as life forms, but are characterized as being nasty,
vicious, ill-tempered, voracious, cantankerous, truculent, beady-eyed,
hard-headed, rotten, growly, snappish, mis'rable, greedy-gut garbage
buckets.
> DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FEED BY HAND UNLESS
> YOU ARE FINISHED USING THAT HAND
> PERSONS WANDERING TOO NEAR THE QWKSAND PIT
> MAY BE DEVOURED WITHOUT ANY FURTHER NOTICE
Should you find yourself being the unwanted center of attention of a
QWKsand critter, you are advised to seek sanctuary from the nearest
magic using denizen. The QWKsand critters have shown an especially
healthy fear of Caspian, the magic making Churchmouse. The first choice
of safety should be proximity to the magic making churchmouse. QWKsand
critters in full charge have been witnessed to apply reverse traction on
all six legs and beat a hasty backwards retreat at the mere sight of
Caspian paying attention to them and twitching his whiskers.
-Engineering deck: ingress is permitted only to selected personnel
-Cliff: there are several ledges of varying heights for diving, for fun
or competition, as well as a water slide and a waterfall. Within the
cliff structure are tunnels for some of the smaller BardRoom echoites.
-Waterslide: built of federation standard near-frictionless composite
materials. It was during the final phase of installation that the
incident took place where it was revealed that Angie "Responsible
Pengiun" Marosko has a cute freckle on her tush.
-Bar-b-que pit: suitable for roasting twits before throwing them to the
QWKsand critters
Contributions:
Kestrel T'Rael: iceberg, because it was too hot in Colorado.
Angie Marosko: waterslide
Coffee Dude: coffee hut
Angie Marosko &
Russ Jernigan: waterfall
Barb Jernigan: wharf, and the pirate chorus line. Inspired B-B-Q pit
Pauline Schwen: sand and water types; barroom, the original structure
Damiana Navarro: (creation of Michael "Kludge" Tauson) landing field
Dalton Kidd: fruit juice and frozen yoghurt shack
BARDROOM echo is the creation of Pauline "Ma Ducks" Schwendinger [RIP]
BEACH AND DIVING WALL:
<---------------- 50 meters ----------------->
+---+---------------------------------------------+
|c | <- cliff beach basin \ ice |
|h r| 20 x 50 meters I_berg|
|a o| (deep portion 30 meters) I___|
|n o|.............................................|
|g m| (shallow portion 10 meters max) |
|i s| |
|n | |
|g / I <--wharf |
| |x_____I_______________________________________ |
|- |
^
Entrance to ^ north ^
Rabbitt's < west east >
warren v south v
________________________________________ <-- Ceiling _____
| Highest ledge 30.6m --> #___| joint | |
|----------------------#---#-----#/ 0 |Cliff ^ | |..
| |top I | | .
|__ <-- Waterslide start |30m/ I | | .
| \--___ |96ft I | |~.
South< | \---\___/--\_____ | I | | .
>North | \___ | I | | .
| \U | 33 meters | |L.
| ^ |x|#.....# | I | /= .
| o====o====o|=|=o====o====o|=|\\ | I |O= | .
| #.....#|x| )) | I | | .
| //==o====o====o====o====o====o// | I | O| .
| (( #...#...#.|x|# () | I | /| .
| \\O=========O==|=|=|=|==O=======\\ | I |O=\| .
Entrance _| #...#...#...|x| )) | I |- _| .
to -> | x=========O==========O===========O=// | v |_|O .
changing ---------------------------------------+ <-- Water 1 2
room <------------- 20 meters -------------> level
and to . . .
Rabbitt's . <-- High water mark on beach .
warrens . Depth change -->. North wall --> .
LEGEND:
# = diving ledges O = tunnels
x = openings to Rabbitt's warren / = sloping ramps
O = warrens large enough for even the Ice Bear \ = sloping ramps
o = warrens large enough for small furry echoites ~ = waterslide
= = tunnels start
0 = waterfall outlet L = waterslide
U = waterslide terminus terminus
- = 1/2 meter .. = waterfall
| = 2 meters 1 = changing room
..= recessed footpaths between ledges 2 = entrance to
Rabbitt's
^ = Gryphon's aerie
()= Diggy's cavern with view of waterfall
NOTE:
Due to the walllike nature of the cliff it is almost sheer, although
it has been equiped with myriad hand and foot holds for life forms with
such equipement. This necessitates placing the diving ledges in a
slightly recessed fashion, so that an echoite standing on a diving ledge
cannot see another echoite standing in any of the other ledges. For
security purposes, each diving ledge, as well as the end of the
waterslide and the location of the waterfall, are all offset from each
other.
Any two echoites diving simulaneously from ledges which are laterally
proximate should not enter the water within one meter of each other.
There are three diving ledges at the thirty meter mark, which is ninety
six feet, and one higher ledge at thirty point six meters, or ninety
eight feet. These are to simulate the cliffs at Aculpulco, Mexico
(because, after all, we aren't going to let them out do us, are we?).
The footpaths are recessed into the wall, with a curtain of wall
material between the path and the cliff edge. This is to ensure greater
security on the path itself, and that no one attempts to dive from other
than the secure positions. Essentially, each footpath is a tunnel
through the face of the wall between diving ledges.
It may be noted that there is a slight discrepancy in heights at some
points. This will be due to some measurements being taken from the
water surface, rather than from the "ground level" of the floor.
The above maps of the cliff face and interior tunnels are not to scale.
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