(Return to Encyclopedia Introduction)
(Return to Top of main volume)
(The following is comprised mostly of a series of messages exchanged in BardRoom echo during it's inception. Those lines preceded by two capital letters and a right angle bracket are text taken from messages posted by other members of the echo.
This series is presented in short story format, almost as it is posted annually on the anniversary of the echo having been granted full echo status on Fidonet. When posted, it makes a sixteen message series of messages not more than one hundred lines in length. This is due to the limitations of some OffLine Readers. It is presented here as one piece.)
The dragon seemed to float more than fly through the alternate reality in which he found himself. The all encompassing grayness did not disorient him or bother him in the least. He had seen stranger things and places in his travels with the human companion that sat astride his back. If truth be known, she had taken them to those places. Sometimes not deliberately.
Both the dragon and the woman seemed to be much younger than their years. The dragon due to a healing ensorcellment, the woman -- because she did. Given her command of the sorcerous forces, it seemed likely that her appearance was maintained by spells. However, if asked, she would have denied it with great surprise.
Despite that, at fifty cycles of seasons, her face and figure were such that they could have graced the centerfolds in magazines dedicated to erotica in otherwordly realms. Although once a first time viewer got past the bod they tended to concentrate on the eyes.
At the moment, those eyes, hurt-puzzled puppy-dog look and all, were studying an ever nearing shimmering bubble. The bubble contained a large expanse of white ground, a small lake, a cliff to one side, which she thought of as the west, with a waterfall and a slide, and on the opposite side of the lake, a small iceberg. To the east of the whole affair was a tremendous expanse of hardened dirt roads, laid out straight, and with angles, as accurate as an inscribed pentagram.
"'BardRoom' he called it?"
"Yes," the dragon replied.
"It looks strange. Nothing at all like the realms between to which I am accustomed. This grayness is strange too. It feels like -- potential."
"Potential?"
"Yes. That and nothing more. As though it had no other purpose but to be formed into something."
The dragon's head twisted through 180 degrees of arc, and he laid his chin between the joints where his wings sprouted. "How intriguing. He refered to it as 'Cyberspace,' didn't he?"
"Yes," Sherrilyn replied, after thinking for a few seconds. "I can see why he sent us. I don't think others would fare as well. I don't think he has anyone else with our skills and experience."
Strongwing grinned widely and arched an eyebrow. "How can we know? He is an author, after all, and while he can read our minds and know everything about us, we cannot reciprocate."
Sherrilyn regarded the Chesire Cat-like grin, and the perspective of Strongwing's head resting on his spine suddenly kicked in, disconcerting her as it always did. She held the feeling in tight check, knowing that her friend was teasing. She was as bored with the flight as he was.
"If he had someone else, he would have sent them. After all, this a technological reserve, isn't it?"
"Indeed. However, I don't think anyone from a technological reserve has the ability to grasp the idea of a multiverse. They are too steeped in their own reality to accept the idea of otherworldly realms. Whereas we, from a fantasy world, fit right in."
Sherrilyn looked away from the dragon's piercing gaze to wonder at the expanse of roads. "What do you suppose those roads are for? They are much too wide for horse and cart traffic."
"Spaceport," the dragon answered without bothering to look.
"For those immense carts you spoke of for journeying between suns?"
"Yes. This does not seem to be the quite the same thing, but along those principles."
"What about that irridescence for the reality boundary?"
At this question the head swung around. "What irridescence?"
"You don't see it?" She frowned at this, for there was little the Dragons of Kyeltoornii could not discern, and well she knew it. Then she shrugged it off. "It's probably nothing. Just some localized phenomenon of this dimension."
The dragon squinted, cocking his head at several implausible angles, then he shrugged as well. He turned his head back to face his companion. "I suppose it is. He didn't say there was anything inimicable in this reality, did he?"
"No. At least nothing overtly so. Shall we go in?"
"We are too far away yet to begin our approach."
"Tsk! Well, at least would you turn your head around straight. I'd really rather you watch where you're flying," she groused as she crossed her arms over her chest.
Strongwing smiled wider. "Why? Does it bother you when you I do this?"
Sherrilyn planted her fists on her hips and cocked her head to one side. If she had been on firm ground, she would have started tapping one foot as well. A habit she had learned in her childhood, from her nurse. "You know very well I don't like it when I see your head turned around like that. It reminds me too much of what you did to Rogue Worm-belly."
"Hmph. Contrarywise, my head is still firmly attached to my shoulders instead of having graced the walls of a public house for the last forty five cycles of seasons.
"Huh! There were times in our wanderings when I had trouble telling the difference, Silly Dragon."
She bounced as Strongwing snorted, partly in amusement, partly in derision, at her use of the old nickname. "That sounds like mockery."
"Hah!" she barked. Then, smiling, "You know I'd never mock you," she said sweetly.
Strongwing snorted again. "I am pleased to hear it. I was mocked -- once," he said, and Sherrilyn finished with him, "it did not go well."
"How is it, Child-Sorceress, you cannot turn your head as far as I can?" he asked as faced the front.
Sherrilyn looked down at the scene as she absently answered, "Because you dragons have thirty two articulated joints in your necks. We people only have seven."
"Ah," he replied, as if that explained everything. They continued in silence for several moments, each with their own thoughts. "We are suffficiently proximate to begin our approach. Shall we do it in the usual style?"
Sherrilyn checked her ensnarement to make sure she was still firmly attached to Strongwing. She had fallen once, been thrown actually, and while she had learned to fly on her own in the intervening cycles of seasons, the incident had left her with a lingering fear. "Okay, I'm ready."
Strongwing pumped his wings, the edges of the wingsails snapping from the force of pushing "air". He adjusted his attitude to climb, then he tilted over on his right wingtip, and suddenly he was falling off. He twisted slightly and was suddenly diving towards the "ground" head first. As he had started climbing, Strongwing blinked his nictitating membranes into place. Sherrilyn had lain flat along his back, closing her eyes tightly as she did so. Now the streamlined engine of power and elegance fell through the air like an arrow loosed from the bow, plummeting downward from the heights.
To Sherrilyn, her eyes tightly screwed shut, there was only a sensation of turning and of the wind against her increasing in force, until her long silver hair whipped along her back and the rushing air in her ears sounded like the roaring of a massive waterfall.
When it seemed as though the travelers must surely crash head first into the ground, wing tips canted, Strongwing's attitude changed, and slowly he pulled up until finally he was skimming one man height above the "ground". His flight path took him obliquely across the hardened earth runways, but dissected the circular apron in two equal parts as though a computer guided laser beam.
He allowed his hindquarters and tail to drop, thereby inducing drag, and his forward motion gradually slowed, until finally his wingsails cupped and he stalled in to a landing, well within the beach area, near one of the terminals.
Something lifted its head from the QWKsand pit, then, just as quickly, ducked back down out of sight.
Strongwing glanced over at the movement, uncertainty showing in his eyes for a brief moment, then he dismissed the notion with a shake of his head. "Nah. It couldn't be." He turned back to the crowd of varied beings. "Greetings. I am Strongwing Fly-far."
"I am Sherrilyn Sorceress-Supreme. We have come to BardRoom at the request of our author, with a message. He conveys his greetings, and wishes BardRoom and all the denizens therein Happy Anniversary wishes on the occasion of BardRoom's Anniversary, Hallowe'en, Oct. 31st, as this world reckons time.
"Computer. Run the sequence from the sensor logs as programmed by Admiral Fang-Face DreamWeaver."
* * *
A high pitched buzz interrupted the small group as a phase pattern disrupted the atmosphere in one section of the Bardroom. The place was so new that the scent of the silicon joint sealant assaulted the noses of the landing party as the Dirac Jump materialized them near the broad Rock Maple double doors with a silhoutte of William Shakespeare on each side of each leaf.
As usual, Lt. Cmdr. Data oriented himself first and looked around. Lt. LaForge took a moment to reconnect with reality, then turned his head this way and that, scanning the full range of the EM spectrum in a single sweep.
"Good afternoon. I am Lieutenant Commander Data of the USS Enterprise. I believe I have the honour of addressing Pauline Schwendinger, Moderatess?"
"Uhm . . . yes, but I prefer Pauline Schwen, or just Pauline, if you please, Commander; what off earth are you doing here, though?"
"The Enterprise has been assigned to provide some expansions to the BARDROOM echo. We are here to install a virtual beach with a holodeck."
"I'm terribly flattered, but I didn't ask for a virtual beach!"
"No Ma'am." Geordi replied. "Our orders are from Admiral Fang-Face DreamWeaver. I'm Lieutenant Geordi LaForge, by the way; Chief Engineer."
"How do you, Lieutenant? May I introduce my companions, Claire Brunetti, and Hal Rhoads. I don't understand why Fang-Face would order a beach put in. We're just barely open for business. We're waiting for word to get around and people to drop by. What do we need with expansions already?"
"I do not know the Admiral's rationale, however, he did seem to think it would be a great joke, and that you would be pleased."
"I've scanned the surrounding virtual flux and this is a stable region of unreality. We'd only have to make adjustments to one wall. The two ten megawatt fusion generators would go outside, of course, and the holodeck subsystems computer is built into the holodeck itself. We will be providing a small mainframe to provide sufficient memory to run the holodeck with a terminal here in the barroom. As with any holodeck computer it will have a mortality failsafe and a command functions overide that will respond only to designated personel.
"We really wouldn't be much bother, but if you don't want the beach, we could tell the Admiral."
PS> Of course not, Commander. Do go ahead with the alterations. "I guess we should start by setting up the permeable materials disruption restrictor field, then."
"That is the correct proceedure, Geordi," Data replied as both nodded to Pauline.
Data and Geordi moved over to the east wall of the bardroom. Geordi opened a travel case and passed a device to Data. Data glanced left and right along the wall, then moved to a calculated spot. He planted the device firmly into the wall using an android's strength. Then he touched a control, setting it to standby. Three other similar devices were soon placed in positions to form a rectangular outline that could have been trued with a laser. The outline described by the devices took up most
of the wall space. "Geordi, I do not fully understand this human predilection for entertainment. Would not this echo be sufficient as it is?"
"Well, yeah, I guess so. We humans like recreation though."
"Yet, to go to such extremes. Is it not true that too much of a good thing is detrimental?"
"Yes, but, Data, we do need to rest and relax from time to time. Even you take downtime to perform system maintenance."
"That is true, however, isn't placing a virtual beach in an echo too much of a good thing? It strikes me as being rather -- sybaritic."
"Sybaritic? Data, different people need different diversions. I mean just look at all the different holodeck programs we have on the Enterprise."
"I have been considering that very thing. I recently ran a catalogue of the holodeck holographic programs. Although there are twelve hundred people on board the Enterprise, there are recreational programs far in excess of that number. I find it most puzzling, since only designated personnel have access to the holodecks. Considering a break down of the programs by function and demographics; of the two thousand five hundred sixteen programs, one hundred ninety two are used by the school for
educational purposes, eighty seven are used for StarFleet training --
"Data, Data, . . . maybe you should take that up with Counsellor Troi."
Geordi opened a second toolkit and hooked up the linkage cables to the power unit while Data completed the pre-activation checklist by examining his handiwork with a tricorder. "Everything appears to be correctly aligned and functioning. You may activate the power unit, Geordi."
"Okay, here we go." A brief contact with a touch pad brought the power unit to life, and in a moment the rectangular outline filled in with an energy matrix. Data continued to monitor the operation with his tricorder. "No surprises here. The solidified virtual flux has been well permeated by the restrictor field."
"My tricorder readings confirm your analysis, Geordi. I believe we are ready for the next step."
The two stepped back from the wall and Data pulled his phaser from its holster. He pressed repeatedly on the power setting control pad and the phaser beeped with each application of pressure as the output control moved up to full power.
Data fired the phaser from the hip, the beam of excited photons cutting through the air at the pitch of middle C sharp. The solidified flux of the wall shimmered as it dissolved into heat, light, x-rays, gamma shine, and the ionization of subatomic particles. The harder radiations were contained and dampened by the restrictor field. The field also restricted the destruction of the solidified flux to only that material within the field. When the gamma shine died out, there was a perfect
rectangular hole left where the wall had been.
Geordi touched his comm badge. "LaForge to Enterprise; we're ready down here for the first consignment of materials."
"This is Riker. I acknowledge, Mr. Laforge. That consignment is on its way"
Seconds later the familiar whine of phased matter materialization sounded in Bardroom. Three grav-repulsion sleds piled high with material appeared in the space in front of the hole. "Okay, Commander, the grav-repulsion sleds have arrived." Another whine, and in five seconds a team of red shirted technicians materialized in front of the doors. Three of them carried various tool kits. The other two each had a grav-repulsion-materials manipulator unit. "The remainder of the away team has
arrived safely, Enterprise. This looks like a pretty routine job."
"Acknowledged, Geordi. I look forward to a nice quiet assignment for a change. Riker out."
"We will begin by erecting the framework for the cargo bay door recesses. Once the framework is complete, we will ask the transporter chief to beam down the fusion reactor. Do any of you have any questions?" The technicians shook their heads. "Then let us begin."
While Data was briefing the technicians, Geordi visually examined the restrictor field. Satisfied that the area was now "cold", he reached down to the power unit and switched it off. He began removing the cables and the units that Data had attached to the wall. "Geordi? I hear a strange sound. It is below the threshold of human hearing, but it is growing in volume. I would describe it as . . . a squeaking sound."
"A squeaking sound? Where is it coming from?"
"It seems to be emanating from the area of the ceiling, approximately midway between the two sides of the hole."
Geordi glanced upward, scanning a wide range of the EM spectrum. "Data, something is happening to that beam up there. It looks like some kind of material fatique is being induced. That beam up there is real wood."
"Indeed? This does not bode well." Data concentrated for a moment. "Accessing." Sudden understanding came to him. "I believe I know what is happening," he said glancing around. The few patrons in the bar looked anxiously towards the two gold shirted figures. Data picked up a nearby chair and carried it over to the hole. He carefully placed it in the geographic center of the hole, stood up on it, and reached up to brace the beam on either side of the hole. "We seemed to have underestimated the
durability of the materials used in the construction of Bardroom. This wall is a `load bearing wall'. When we removed the center portion, we removed the support for the ceiling beam." Data pressed upwards, applying pressure firmly until the chair he stood on started to protest the stresses it was being made to handle.
"I'll have the Enterprise send down some temporary supports." Geordi contacted the Enterprise and placed his order. The temporary supports materialized within the minute, and the technichians quickly placed them at angles which would brace the beam while leaving room for them to work. It was during this work that one of the red shirted technicians attracted Geordi's attention.
When Data placed the chair he had been standing on back where he got it, Geordi mentioned the technician to him. "Data, do you notice anything odd about that tecnichian," he asked, pointing out the slim, elfin featured crewman. "There's something about her I find a little strange."
"I too have several questions about the ensign that I cannot satisfactorily answer. Take for instance the insignia on the back of her tunic. My research indicates that that particular design, a full red circle, with a black concentric circle, itself surrounded by a white concentric circle, was once referred to as a `bullseye.' The ensign said that it was on all of her starfleet uniforms."
"Really? Well, who is she?"
"Her name is Ensign Toast."
"Ensign Toast? That's an odd name."
"So it seems, however, I have checked her record, and she is a member of StarFleet."
"Well, she seems to be a conscientious worker too, so I guess I'm just jumping at shadows."
Laser welders flashed at the corners of the three tritallium alloy beams that formed the framework for the door to the beach and the holodeck. The welds were checked by tricorder, and once the work was approved a steady stream of material was materialized and moved through the aperture. A new containment feature was formed of virtual flux, surrounding the artificial environment on the five open sides. It created an enclosed space 50 X 50 meters, creating a "floor" space of 2,500 square
meters. The ceiling was thirty five and a half meters high. A portion of one wall was left jagged, with many handholds, and ledges at various heights from which a diver could launch himself. The highest was thirty meters up. (One meter = 3.2 feet.)
A full 30 meters was level floor from where the new room abutted the original wall where the door had been formed. Then the floor was subtly divided into a portion that sloped gently to form a shallow pool suitable for wading or sitting comfortably, the bottom being sculpted for just those purposes. This area covered a space of 10 by 10 meters. The remainder of the floor sloped steeply to form a bowl 30 meters across from the edge of the beach to the far wall, and fully 12 meters deep.
A pair of security doors were mounted near a pair of heavy duty blast doors in the wall to the left of the beach entrance.
* * *
"Pauline, Geordi and I are about to activate the fusion reactor. It should only take fifteen minutes to bring it online and to provide power for the various systems. Once the reactor is online it will provide full power to the replicators here in the bardroom. We will also be able to run the service replicators we are using in the new area to provide sand and water to fill the pool. Could you tell me, do you want a fresh water beach, or a salt water beach? Also, what kind of sand do you want?
You have a choice between regular tan sand, or Bermuda white sand."
"We've also got a place marked out where we could put a pit and fill it with quicksand. It was the Admiral's suggestion."
"Quite correct. Admiral Fang-Face also suggested that we allow a command override on the mortality failsafe that would respond to one voice authorization instead of the two currently required. I asked him if that was wise and he did not really answer the question. He just humphed and growled something about drowning being too good for some twits. Oh, and once the service replicators are online, would the patrons like to assist in the construction by helping to spread the sand?
"Geordi and I shall bring the reactor online while you contemplate the choice of salinity and specific gravity for the water, Pauline."
Data and LaForge strode over to the security doors set in the wall of the beach area. Data motioned for two ensigns to join them. Together the four officers went into the engineering deck. Data stepped up to the primary console while Geordi went to the monitoring station. Ensign Jones took his place opposite Data at the primary console while Ensign Toast went to systems control.
"Intiating magnetic bottles."
Fifteen minutes later Geordi passed a final order to Ensign Toast. "Bring all major systems online."
"Yes, sir," she replied and touched her control panel in several areas, one after the other. "Bardroom replicators, online; holodeck replicators, online; beach replicators, online; beach holographic computer, online; weather simulation systems, online; beach holographic projectors, online; holodeck holographic computer, online; holodeck holographic projectors, online. All systems are up and nominal, sir."
"Thank you, Ensign. Data, start the beach replicators producing fresh water. We might as well start filling the basin now. We can always adjust the salinity later if Pauline decides on a saltwater beach." Geordi started towards the doors. "I'll go and make sure there is no one in the basin."
"Very well, Geordi. Ensign Jones, set the beach replicators to produce fresh water, specific gravity 1.073, 100 kiloliters per minute."
"Aye, sir. Specific gravity 1.073, 100 kiloliters per minute. Shall I include nutrients and trace elements, sir?"
"Negative. It is much easier to add such things than it is to remove them. We will start with ordinary water, then add whatever is necessary to produce the final product."
"Yes, sir."
"We will run a final check of the safety features for the various systems." Data began accessing various subdirectories and backups while the ensigns worked their own stations.
"LaForge to Data."
Data touched his comm badge. "Go ahead, Geordi."
"How is everything on the engineering deck?"
"We have just completed our final check of the security and backup systems. Everything checks out."
"Well, the basin is empty. You can start producing water anytime you like."
"Acknowledged, Data out. Ensign Jones, run the water production program."
"Aye, sir. Running program."
"Ensign Toast, what is the status of the program?"
"The beach replicators are functioning within normal parameters, sir. They are producing fresh water of a specific gravity of 1.073 +/- 0.0002. Production rate is 100 kiloliters per minute. Energy levels are consistent."
"Very good, Ensign. Carry on. I am going to go and oversee the next phase of the project."
As Data and Geordi moved away from Pauline and went onto the engineering deck, a subspace/phase distortion appeared in Bardroom.
AD> <panting madly> Hi, Everybody! Just made it! <more panting> No one anywhere paid any attention to the thirtyish woman with the girlish figure. Angie tried desperately for a few more moments to make someone notice her, but stopped, appalled, when an Ensign guided a anti-gravity materials handling unit through her legs, then rudely walked through her body himself.
"Hmmmm," Pauline pondered. "Do I want white, or tan; fresh or saltwater? I think I better go see if I can find Stephane. I haven't seen him anywhere.
AD> <crying> :~( And me apparently! <falling on beach and There was the buzz of a Dirac Jump and phased matter rematerialized a few meters away from the perplexed Penguin. When the scintillations had disappeared, an exotic alien being stood revealed wearing the uniform of a StarFleet Admiral. In one tentacle he carried a round travel case. He looked around briefly, his critical eyes seeming to roam randomly, but, in fact, they took in every visible aspect of the construction project. A broad smile broke out revealing rows of needle sharp teeth.
Recognition came to Angie and she ran up to the admiral.
AD> <waving arms madly right in your face and yelling at the top Admiral Fang-Face nodded in satisfaction, and, adding insult to injury, walked right through Penguin as though she weren't there.
He walked over to the engineering deck, Pengy following him and yelling all the way. She stopped outside while he strode into engineering without hesitating. "Commander Data."
"Admiral Fang-Face. Welcome to the Bardroom beach, sir."
"Thank you, Commander. What's your status?"
"All systems are online and nominal. We are running the water production program now, sir. I was about to go see the moderator to ask her if she had decided on the sand colour and salinity of the water."
"Very good, then, don't let me stop you. I'm just going to blend into the background myself."
"As you say, sir." Just then the engineering computer began stuttering sharply. "Is there some problem Ensign Jones?"
"The sensors are picking up some kind of a radiation anamoly, sir. I'm not sure what it is. It's a low level radiation, not inimical to life, and it reads lower than normal background radiation levels. It just seems to be an unusual form of radiation. I'll access the Enterprise databanks and see if I can get a crossmatch."
"Very well. I am going to look for the moderator. Keep me informed."
Data walked out of the engineering deck and right past Angie.
AD> <crying> :~( <falling on beach and bawling> Dad gum that Data! Fang-Face took up a position at the console, accessing readings and studying them. "Hmph. You know, I've got the feeling that I've seen readings like those before." Then he turned and walked out.
SG> As the subtle rustling of my trusty moth-eaten cape reminds me of my Data stepped through the now installed blast doors twixt the beach and the bar, and paused to search out the moderator. The Rock Maple doors with the silhoutte of the Bard on each side suddenly swung open.
SG> It has been a long and arduous trek to reach this newly formed Data was about move on, then hesitated, hoping to meet one of the moderator's much esteemed friends.
SG> I cross the threshold and stand amid you, my friends....
. . . yelled the wildly uniformed figure who suddenly appeared in the doorway. The voice had a terrible Montrealaise accent, but the person standing there more than made up for his incoherence with sheer exuberance.
SG> And then I pull the cape off and start running in circles SG> HELLLO! FOLK! How the @$%@#% are you? <VBG>
Data stood puzzled for several seconds. "Accessing." He puzzled for several more seconds. "Ah. @$%@#%. A profanity most prevalantly used during the uncivilized period on earth in the late twentieth century, during the early-modeming period. A term which fell into dis-use as rude, boorish persons had their feeds cut."
SG> CLAP! So! What aren't we going to talk about?
"CLAP? A slang term for a sexually transmitted disease usually referred to as a venereal disease. Gonorrhea. I believe it can be prevented by the judicious use of a latex sheath commonly called a prophylactic, condom, merry widow, french purse, fishskin, safe, rubber, . . . "
SG> Glad to be here, folk!
Data took the proferred hand. "Pleased to meet you. I am Lieutenant Commander Data of the USS Enterpise. May I inquire as to your name, sir?"
SG> Stephane CAPTAIN Stephane for those who don't know me! Gautier
"Indeed?" Data paused. "I do not find your name in the StarFleet registry. May I ask which ship you command, Captain?"
Just then Pauline rushed up to the pair and addressed CAPTAIN Stephane.
PS> Welcome mon ami. Boy are we ever glad to see you here. :)
PS> SG> It has been a long and arduous trek to reach this newly "Excuse me, Pauline. I do not wish to interrupt, but if I am to complete the project on time, I must know what you have decided about the sand and salinity."
PS> Salt water please, and white sand. :)
PS> MN> "We also have a place marked out where we could put a pit PS> Splendid idea.
"Very well, then. I will make the necessary assignments for the replicators."
PS> Oh do lets have the moderator and the humor critic enabled to "As you say, sir. I shall go and adjust the salinity of the water production program and set the replicators for white sand. I will also dedicate the replicator nearest the quicksand pit to produce quicksand and water." Data returned to his duties as Pauline addressed Bardroom.
PS> Come in Patrons...where are you?
Pauline's raised voice cut through the cocktail party babble and everyone looked over towards her. "The replicators are online and Commander Data is about to assign them to provide sand. Nice, white, Bermuda sand. Let's all go into the beach and help spread it around, shall we?"
Her request was answered with a quiet cheer and everyone left their drinks to traipse through the locked open blast doors.
PS> Do be careful of the quicksand bog that Admiral Nellis and PS> SG> CLAP! So! What aren't we going to talk about?
PS> Anything you like, Stephane. You may post poetry or chapters "Ah, it is always so nice to talk to someone so articulate. It makes my heart sing! I asked Data that same question and he started to give me a lecture on safe sex. What is on the agenda?"
PS> We will have a grand party on the 31st, Halloween at which "Okay then, in the mean time, if you will excuse me. I'm going to go and throw some sand around."
"Okay, Stephane. I'm going to help out with the quicksand." Stephane walked over to one of the replicators and grabbed the bucket that had been placed on the platform and had been filled by replication.
"O'mi gawsh! Stephane!! It's me!! Bang!! The Penguin!! Don't you see my peplum at all? Aaaaarrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh!!" she screamed in frustration as Stephane pitched the bucketfull of fine, white sand right through her chest.
The patrons worked hard for several hours and the wide apron was covered to a depth of six inches with glittering sand. Angie, to her great digust, had to shift herself several times to avoid disappearing into the rising floor. Pauline and Geordi worked together to get just the right consistancy of quicksand.
The work was finished at last.
"Pauline, I'd like to ask that the patrons evacuate the beach while we activate the holographic projectors. I believe it would be of greater benefit to have the grand opening with the background all ready being projected, and yourself to cut the ribbon across the blast doors."
"Why, thank you, Lieutenant Laforge. I think that would be a good idea." Angie sat sulking near the engineering deck bulkhead, not noticing while all the other patrons went back into the bar. The first she noticed was when the blast doors shut firmly.
"I think we're ready for the final phase and activation, Data."
"As you say, Geordi. Ensign Toast, run a sensor sweep of the beach and the holodeck."
"Aye, sir." The computer stuttered as the sensor sweep picked up the anamoly that was Angie. "Sir, there is some kind of a radiation anamoly. It appears to be located immediately outside the door, just to the left."
Data removed his tricorder from its holster as he walked over to the door. He did a visual sweep of the area, then examined it with the tricorder. "There does not appear to be anything unusual, although these readings are familiar. Shut and seal the holodeck doors, and the security doors to the engineering deck as well, and seal the beach doors," he said as he stepped back onto the engineering deck. "Ensign Toast, route your command functions to my console. Ensign Jones, is the mortality
failsafe fully engaged?"
"No, sir. The mortality failsafe is still on standby engagement."
"Disengage the mortality failsafe fully. Ensign Toast, you will need to monitor the projectors quite closely during this operation. Geordi, I will need to boost the output of the projectors to at least 315 percent. Could you activate and route the auxillary power systems through the grid co-comitant to the primary system?"
"Well, yeah, but, Data, what is this for?"
"You will see in a few moments. It will be more efficient to demonstrate than to explain," he replied, his hands dancing over his console at three times human speed.
"Okay, I've got you hooked in at a projected 322 percent."
"That will be sufficient. Activating program."
On the beach a blazing sun suddenly appeared in the sky. Angie did not notice it, having her head leaning against her arms which were crossed on her raised knees. A sublimal atmospheric vibration began to build up as the power to the holographic phenomenon increased, suddenly discharging in an algorhithmic function that resulted in a burst of light as though the sun had novaed. Angie leapt up, screaming in panic.
Data's enhanced hearing heard the screaming through the security doors. He released the seal on all doors and stepped out onto the beach. "Are you okay, Miss?"
"What are you, crazy?! Why didn't you give a girl some warning you were going to explode an atomic bomb!"
"It was not exactly such an archaic device as an atomic -- "
"Wait! You can see me? And hear me?"
"Of course. You are standing immediately in front of me."
"Oh, thank you!! Thank you!! Thank you!!"
"Once I became aware of the type of radiation causing the anamolies, it was easy to deduce that someone was phased into an immaterial existance."
"Oh, yes! That was me!" she exclaimed. Then she grasped Data and firmly kissed him.
"Is this a prelude to the act of mating? If so, I should tell you that I am not entirely inexperienced, and I have access to the files on mating techniques and arousing sexual desire in over seven hundred species of -- "
"You men! You are such pigs! You are, like, so totally cubical, man! Get a life!" With that, Angie turned and stormed away towards the beach doors.
Geordi nudged Data. "Data, you aren't going to let her get away, are you? She's got the hots for you. Didn't you see it?"
"Unfortunately, Geordi, we must complete this project before I can continue my studies into sybaritic behaviour."
The beach doors sighed open and everyone looked up expectantly. They were all quite suprised to see Angie standing in the doorway.
"That's it! I'm running away to join a convent!"
"Bang!" several people yelled simultaneously.
Fang-Face looked up from where he was stuffing a quivering, rust red, hunk of something into the replicator. "Hey, Pengy. Good to see you. Where have you been?" The replicator hummed as it assimilated the chunk of liver of a dragon of Kyeltoornii. It was quickly followed by various assortments of fingers. Then a slight, leather shoe.
Pauline raised an eyebrow at that. "What's that your programming now?"
"Lady's Slipper. <sigh> It's so hard to find them though with a foot still inside."
Inside the beach Data and Geordi were locking down the systems prior to closing and sealing the engineering deck. "Sirs," said Ensign Toast, "there's one thing I'd like to do. I think that quicksand pit should be marked with a sign."
"Good idea, Ensign. Why don't you take care of that. Well, Data it looks like another project is successfully completed. We did it without any problems too."
"Do you suppose, Geordi, that we will be allowed to stay awhile?"
"It wouldn't hurt to ask Commander Riker."
Ensign Toast strode over to the quicksand pit with her tool kit in her hand. She accessed the replicator and reproduced a sign featuring a skull and crossbones. Then she replicated a post to attach it to, and laser welded the sign to the post, then the post to the floor.
"All systems are online and functioning within normal parameters. Ensign Jones, you may transport back to the Enterprise. Geordi, let us go and inform Pauline that she may begin her opening ceremonies."
"All right, Data. Let's not forget Ensign Toast, though. Where did she get to, anyway?"
"She is supposed to be near the quicksand pit." The two picked up their personal toolkits and went over to the pit. On the sand next to it they saw Ensign Toast's open toolkit. A laser welder lay on the kit, not in its proper place. A newly welded sign with a skull and crossbones stood nearby. "Nice job. I haven't seen that old logo since I was seven years old. But where's the ensign?" Geordi paused as a thought crossed his mind. "You don't suppose . . . " He quickly began scanning the pit.
"I don't see her in the quicksand."
"Uhm . . . You can't sink in quicksand, sir. It's mostly water. People float in water."
"Ensign Toast, you are dripping wet. Have you had some misadventure?"
"Yes, sir. I fell in the quicksand. I had to go and wash off in the water. I'll just transport up to the Enterprise now, sirs."
"Very well then. Come, Geordi, let us go find Pauline."
The doors to the beach retracted, then shut again quickly after the two stepped through it. The patrons who glanced at the beach trying to get a glimpse were teased by a half seen vista of paradise.
"Pauline, we have completed the extensions. All systems are online and functioning correctly. Furthermore, we have been granted permission to assist you with the opening ceremonies. We do not have to return to the Enterprise."
"Oh, how wonderful. Perhaps you could help me explore the holodeck?"
"I would like that very much."
* * *
Pauline cut the ribbon in front of the blast doors to the beach and the Bardroom patrons cheered lustily. Then she led the crowd onto the wide, sanded apron. The grains under foot were warm to the touch, but not hot enough to burn the toes of those who decided to shuck their shoes. A small pile of abandoned shoes and socks quickly formed just to the left of the doors.
In the Soutwest corner of the beach, the entrance being in the Southwest corner in the west wall of the beach, were three evenly spaced firepits, each occupied by a cauldron at least large enough to stew an elephant. Pauline laughed at the size of the cauldrons, but went over to look at them. Everyone followed along behind her. As they approached the nearest cauldron, the oily, oozy liguid surged and seemed to lift to form a vaguely man-shaped form, similar to the thing in the ST:TNG episode
Skin of Evil. It sputtered for a moment, then arms lifted to wipe away some of the what-ever-it-is. The thing in the cauldron blinked for a moment, then began to speak.
"Hi there, folks. My name is George Carlin, and I'm just here to help with the opening ceremonies by signing a partiotic little song.
"Oh, beautiful, for smoggy skies, "America, America, Several patrons laughed, and others booed and jeered good-naturedly, then cheered as Pauline firmly pushed the figure back into the stuff. "Computer! Light a fire under cauldron number one. A hot fire!" The fuel under the cauldron burst into flame and began burning intensely as everyone cheered and laughed.
The group headed over to the southwest corner where the security doors for the engineering deck stood next to the blast doors to the holodeck. At Pauline's approach the holodeck doors slid open to reveal an impenetrable blackness. Not even the holographically produced tropical sun was able to shed any light inside the holodeck.
Pauline hesitated for a moment. The she stuck her head into the blackness. To the watchers, it appeared as though Pauline had dissolved from about the waist up. To Pauline, it appeared as though she had entered a zone of sensory deprivation. In a moment, before her eyes had a chance to adapt to the darkness, it melted away, and a black striped orange figure appeared right in front of her nose.
"Hew-hew-hew-hewwwwwwww!" it exclaimed.
"Aaaaaaggghhh!" Pauline shouted in surprise, jumping back. The sand shifted beneath her feet unexpectedly and she sat down -- hard.
The thing that had sprung up in her face started hopping around on its tail, always remaining inside the holodeck. As it hopped around it sang:
"The wonderful thing about Tiggers, Oh, the wonderful thing about Tiggers Tiggers are cuddley fellows! The wonderful thing about Tiggers, Mmmmmwwwwoooooowwwwwrrrrrrr.
(Copyright Disney Productions)
Pauline began laughing with gay abandon as she sat in the sand. The blast doors slid shut after Tigger finished his song, and Pauline picked herself up. "Well, I guess we can explore more of the holodeck later. Let's go check the water!"
"Yeah!" the crowd replied, and everyone headed towards the wading pool and the swimming basin. Here and there about the beach were several boulders. As Angie passed one she noticed that it had an oddly flattened face. She examined it more closely and realized that it was hinged. She flipped up the flat section to reveal a panel similar to a lap-top computer's keyboard and screen. The sceen lit up to show a main menu.
Activities Curious, she touched the "Command functions" options. The screen flashed as the menu disappeared and the message "Input moderator's access code" appeared on the screen. Angie typed `Bang' into the keyboard and pressed the enter key. The keyboard stuttered sharply at her as the attempt was rejected. The screen flashed again as it reset to the main menu.
This time Angie chose `Activities'. The menu disappeared and the screen showed a list of options.
Canoeing/kayaking She touched the Surfing option. For several moments, nothing happened. Then, an excited babble arose from the group at the edge of the water. "Hey, look!" someone yelled. "Surf's up!" A loud cheer sounded as the wave generating machinery produced movement in the water. The wave moved from the east wall and rolled across the surface of the water. When the bottom of the basin was shallow enough it started to build to a peak. When the depth of the bottom was one half the height of the wave, the
wave broke, crashing down thunderously into a foam flecked maelstrom and rushing up the beach to scatter most of the onlookers.
Fang-Face stood his ground as the rushing water splashed around his tentacles, surging as high as, . . . uh, what should have been his knees. Then, as the swell began to recede, he rushed forward and threw himself into the tow with a glad yell.
An emergency klaxon sounded, two short, rising blasts followed by a short and a long rising blast. The sounds were repeated once, then a voice spoke that seemed to come from everywhere at once.
"Warning. The mortality failsafe is engaged. The wave generator has been shut down. Swimming is not an activity that is compatible with surfing. To change the Activity option, choose Swimming at the Activity menu."
"How do we do that?" David asked.
"Access any terminal and choose from the options on the screen."
"Hey, everybody!" Bang yelled. "The terminals are in the boulder things! Just lift up the flat part!"
The group immediately split up, everyone racing to get to a terminal first. Pauline politely pushed her way to the front of the crowd around one terminal, where each person was shouting their advice to the person who had arrived first, and pre-empted command of the terminal.
"Excuse me, please. I'll just take a look at this if you don't mind." The other people grinned sheepishly as they made room for her. Pauline looked over the options and went to Command functions. The screen asked her for the password, and she hunched over the keyboard to hide it as she punched the keys. The screen flashed to a new menu.
Access She touched `Mortality Failsafes' and a status board appeared. She briefly explored the other menus, then surrendered the terminal, after returning to the main menu. She smiled to herself as several attempts by the rest of the group to access restricted menus were frustrated.
"Happy Hallowe'en," she said. "Welcome to the Bardroom."
... Rule 1: Play nice. Rule 2: Have fun. Rule 3: See Rule 1 & 2.
The mutant, cannibalistic, fang-face, bug-eyed, tentacular, slime thing creep from the far wash of the galaxy opened a channel on his subspace communications array.
"Starfleet Command, this is Admiral Fang-Face DreamWeaver."
"Starfleet Command here, sir. What can we do for you this stardate?"
"We need to make some minor renovations to the Bardroom holobeach. I'd like you to allocate a ship to this location and have an engineering team do it. We don't have the necessary resources to do it ourselves."
"Sure thing, sir. What exactly will you require?"
The Chairthing of Starfleet Command Joint Chiefs of Staff outlined what he wanted done. "No problem, sir. We have a planetary engineering vessel which has just finished a mission -- uh-oh. Maybe we do have a slight problem, sir."
The slime thing creep grumped, "What's the matter?"
"Harrumph. . . . Uh, . . . well, sir. The only available ship is the USS Secondprize."
"Gevalt!?"
"Yes, sir."
"Oy, vey!" Tentacle tips drummed impatiently on the duraluminum alloy desk top. Finally he grumbled, "Okay, okay, send it along. I've been dragging my tentacles over this project too long already. I'd rather not wait any longer even if it means using the Secondprize. DreamWeaver out."
Fang-Face continued to drum his tentacle tips on the desktop for some time. Then, with a motion which was the equivalent of a shrug in humans, he dismissed the worry with a muttered "Well, maybe they won't cause too much damage or havoc."
Out there, somewhere, travelling at multi-light speeds in the realm of the fuzzy concept of Warp Space, a starship of the planetary engineering department of Starfleet received orders to diverge to cyberspace to the location of Bardroom echo. Amazingly enough, the starship found its way to the echo on the first try. The captain ordered the helmsman to adopt a standard orbit and comms to advise the Chairthing of their arrival.
That done, he swallowed nervously. "Away team," he said, seeming to speak to the empty air, "report to the transporter room." In the bowels of the ship, in one of the cargo bays and in one of the hydroponics sections, two crewmembers lifted their heads from their work. Then, each wildly grabbed his took kit and began hurrying to the main transporter room, trying to arrive there before his other team mate.
The two red shirted Caitians burst into the corridor in front of the transporter room at the same time, crashing face first into each other and rebounding to fall to the deck. The regarded each other in stunned amazement for a second, then each glared at the other angrily, then they both scrambled for their dropped kits. Grabbing up a kit, each tried to beat the other through the doorway, only managing to get themselves jammed into the opening. Then the door began to slide shut, pressing the
two of them into the jamb until they both popped out like a cork from a champagne bottle to fly across the transporter room and smash into the far wall.
The two crewmen, each of them squashed flat to the wall, then slowly slid down to the floor, coming to a rest on separate transporter pads. The transporter officer very quickly energized the pads to send his transportees elsewhere. That done, he heaved a great sigh of relief and wiped the perspiration from his forehead. "Bridge," he reported, "they're gone."
The command crew echoed the tranporter officer's sigh of relief.
On the holobeach, a high pitched buzz interrupted the small group as a phase pattern disrupted the atmosphere in one section of the Bardroom. The group of Bardroomers blinked and wondered what had happened to the landing party as the Dirac Jump materialized them near the Frozen Yogurt Hut and Coffee Shack.
Then the two crewmembers shivered and seemed to pull themselves together, filling themselves out to their usual Caitian form. One or two of the Bardroomers gasped in recognition as a thrill of apprehension ran up their spines.
The two crewmen looked up at their superior officer, grinned ingratiatingly, then snapped to attention. "Good afternoon, sir! Lieutenant Sylvester and Ensign Growltiger reporting as ordered, sir!"
The fang-face thing growled softly for a moment, then answered. "Yes, so I see. You have your orders, gentlemen. Carry on." Then he turned to his friends and keypals. "Pardon me, all, but we might want to adjourn to the barroom to allow these two do their work in safety." Then he finished by muttering to himself, "Our safety."
Several of the members nodded and headed for the blast doors in the west wall of the holobeach. Most others, not catching the hint in the Admiral's suggestion, remained behind.
"Sufferin' Succotash. I don't know why I keep working with you the way you always get in my way."
"I get in your way? You're the one who's always underfoot. If it weren't for you I wouldn't still be a lowly Ensign. I'd at least have my own command by now.
"Yeah, yeah. Never mind that now, we have work to do. I suppose we should start by setting up the permeable materials disruption restrictor field."
"Well, of course, we should start that way. It's the only way to start." Growltiger glared at his co-worker, then Sylvester began to glare back.
"Well? What are you waiting for then?"
"What do you mean "what am I waiting for?" You've got the disruption restrictors in your toolkit."
Sylvester retorted. "Yeah, but I can't do anything until you get your tail in gear and move the sand out of the way. So, get goin'!" Both glared at the other for a second or two longer, then each bent down and opened the toolkit that had transported down with him. Sylvester's contained a manual tractor/repulsion unit and Growltiger's held the disruption restrictors.
The two Caitians blinked at the strange contents he had found in his toolkit, then both realized at the same moment that he had the other's kit. Simultaneously, they both snapped the kits shut, picked them up, and smacked the other over the head with his own kit. The both fell on their backs on the sand, stunned.
At this point a few of the Bardroomers turned to each other and offered to buy the other a drink. They hastily took themselves off to the barroom.
Sylvester and Growltiger sat up, glared at each other, then each picked up his kit and set to work.
Growltiger stepped up to one of the terminals and accessed the Main Menu. The Admiral had very thoughfully set up an option to deactivate the holograms of the palm trees in the center of the beach in such a way that neither of the crewmen would have to have access to the command functions menu. The idea that either of the Caitians would have to be given the access codes had curdled his stomach and left a cold knot of nausea in his digestive tract.
The palm trees disappeared as did the terminal he was accessing, though the four replicators in the immediate vicinity remained.
Then he activated the manual tractor/repulsion unit and began "shoveling" the sand which covered the geographic center of the beach. After he had removed all the sand he turned off the unit and looked for his team mate to report to him. Sylvester was nowhere to be found, although Growltiger did spot his tool kit lying on the beach at the foot of the piled up sand he had moved.
Growltiger stepped up the open tool kit, looking around in some confusion. Then the pile of sand shivered and seemed to develop a pair eyes. The eyes blinked at Growltiger, who then grinned wickedly and snickered. The blink turned into a glare, then an arm suddenly shot out of the pile of sand to smack Growltiger right between the eyes. He fell over backwards on the beach.
A couple of more Bardroomers decided to join the party in the barroom.
The two Caitians finally got the permeable materials disruption restrictor field set up for activation.
"Okay, here we go." A brief contact with a touch pad brought the power unit to life, and in a moment the rectangular outline filled in with an energy matrix. Sylvester smiled widely as he monitored the operation with his tricorder. Then he spoke smugly. "Another fine job well done. The solidified virtual flux has been well permeated by the restrictor field."
"Fine," Growltiger responded. "Then it's up to me to do the next part," he said, pulling his phaser from its holster. He pressed repeatedly on the power setting control pad and the phaser beeped with each application of pressure as the output control moved up to full power.
Some of the spectators who had been watching in amusement suddenly blanched, then headed with all haste toward the barroom. Neither Caitian noticed their departure, for at that moment their power struggle renewed itself.
"Oh, no, you don't," Sylvester snapped. "I'm the superior officer, I'll do all the phasering around here. I remember the last time you had a phaser in your hairy little paws. You almost burned the tail off the Gumbie cat and got us both thrown into detention cells."
"Me? That was your fault. I was just trying to do my job like I am now and you got in the way." He finished smugly, "Just like you are now."
"Gimme that phaser!"
"Oh, no! I've got it and I'm going to keep it."
Sylvester laid his ears back flat and a wicked look twisted his face. "I'm your superior officer and I say that I want it. This is an order: give it to me!" he demanded, holding out his paw.
Growltiger put a large wicked grin on his own face. "Okay, sport. Just remember: you asked for it." The phaser came up to point directly between Sylvester's eyes.
Sylvester gaped to find himself staring at the business end of a phaser as the tip began to glow. Then he ducked for all his worth. The phaser bolt burned through the space which had been occupied by his head just a nanojiffy earlier and passed through the magnetic curtain sealing off the holobeach from the landing fields.
Sylvester looked behind himself, mouth gaping wide, to see where the bolt had gone, then back at Growltiger who stood there with a smug look on his face. Then a determined look crossed Sylvester's face and he jumped his co-worker to wrestle the phaser from him.
The remaining spectators threw themselves flat on the sand.
Suddenly, both combatants lost their grip on the phaser and it flew into the air to come down, business end first, onto the bare floor. The phaser fired on bouncing.
The beam of excited photons cut through the air at the pitch of middle C sharp. The solidified flux of the floor shimmered as it dissolved into heat, light, x-rays, gamma shine, and the ionization of subatomic particles. The harder radiations were contained and dampened by the restrictor field. The field also restricted the destruction of the solidified flux to only that material within the field. When the gamma shine died out, there was a perfect square hole left where the floor had been.
The phaser fell into the hole.
A few more of the spectators headed for the safety of the bar.
Sylvester and Growltiger stared at the hole in consternation for a moment, then both realized that the phaser was at the bottom of it, and both scrambled to recover it. In their haste and struggle, they fell on top of the phaser, breaking it.
"Suffering succotash! Now look what you've done!"
"Me? Don't blame me for it. You're the one who was on the bottom when we fell on it."
"Yeah, yeah. Never mind that now. We still have to move this virtual flux out of here to make a hole wide enough for the tree roots so it doesn't fall over. Don't just stand there; start digging."
The two crewmen began digging out handfuls of virtual flux and carrying it, handful by handful, to dump outside the magnetic lock. The process took many, many trips.
They finally finished digging the hole and notified the USS Secondprize to transport the specially prepared soil into the hole. The hole filled, from the bottom up, rather than all at once, with a dark, rich, fresh smelling earth.
In the bar, Admiral Fang-Face, surrounded by a tight knot of angry Bardroomers, was almost deperately trying to convince the captain of the Secondprize not to leave the Caitians behind when he departed. In the end, he had to pull rank.
The Phoenix peered around the corner of the blast doors into a holobeach entirely devoid of life. Even the QWKsand critters seemed to be hiding. "Phew!" she sighed. "They're gone. It looks like it's safe to go back in now."
The Bardroomers returned to the beach excitedly, quickly gathering around the new renovation and enjoying the fresh, spring-like scent of the new dirt. The admiral activated his comm badge. "Fang-Face to Secondprize. We're ready for the tree, Captain."
Once again, the buzz of a phase pattern sounded. In the direct center of the hole, a smallish tree appeared. A few of the denizens looked at it rather skeptically. "There you are, my friends. One, real, live Oak. A young one, to be sure, but genetically engineered and with special nutrients and minerals in the soil to ensure a two year growth spurt in no more than six months. Since it will be unable to pull all it needs from the soil to sustain this growth, it will "steal" the extra material
it needs from the older wood in its core. The result will be a four year old, hollow Oak, in just six months.
"Ta-daaaaaaaaaa!"
PS> I did neglect to mention another of my companions, Michael
PS> Stanley who is home in bed with a cold. On your next visit,
PS> you will meet Alex Silverblaze, David Hickey, Angie "Bang"
PS> DuPree and maybe even Dave Babayco. I know they will all
PS> love the beach and the holodeck. Please give my thanks to
PS> the Admiral for his most kind contribution to Bardroom, and
PS>
thank you too, Commander Data and Geordi.
AD> Long way up here from Texas!!! Mind if I sit down a second
AD> and catch my breath? I hear Fang is the Gourmet? Think he
AD> has any TEA??? No, not "Earl Gray"! I much prefer raspberry
AD> tea myself. Pauline! I made it! I made it!!!
AD> bawling> How can I be a hostess if no one can see me???
AD> ...Oh cruel world!
AD> of my lungs> MICHAEL!!!! FANG!!!!!!!!!! TWINNNNNNNN!!!!
AD> ....MIKEYYYYYY!!!! I'm here! I'm here!!!
AD> Why won't he connect to the fact that I've been cloaked just like Geordi
AD> and Roe were once! I know he's noted the tekion emissions when I'm
AD> nearby. If only he would bombard the Bardroom and beach with a high
AD> energy particle beam, I could be uncloaked! Gads! Good Grief! I'm
AD> only one person cloaked, and I don't have a disrupter to set on
AD> overload
for a massive surge of takion emissions! I'll just have to
AD> hope for Data's keen mind to figure this out! Maybe even Fang could
AD> figure it out! He's so perceptive sometimes! Well, I can only hope
AD> for the best!
SG> super powers, I walk eagerly down the echo-funnel about to enter the
SG> Bardroom.
SG> sub-pocket of anarchical threads absently weaved into the lovely fabric
SG> I now behold. I reach behind me and fold my cape to my bosom, chin
SG> high, my knuckles white from the firmness of my grip. Ah! To be here
SG> at last!
SG> with my arms spread wide in a totally un-adult, untopical,
SG> disrespectful way!
PS> SG> formed sub-pocket of anarchical threads absently weaved
PS> SG> into the lovely fabric I now behold. I reach behind me and
PS> SG> fold my cape to my bosom, chin high, my knuckles white
PS> SG> from the firmness of my grip. Ah! To be here at last!
PS> MN> and fill it with quicksand.
PS> override the mortality failsafe. <g> Such fun!
PS> his buddies Data and Geordi have installed near the beach.
PS> of your work for critique or anything else that wakes your
PS> Muse. We have several Cauldrons, the largest of which is on
PS> the beach. Our wonderful sysop Scott, stokes the fire when
PS> he isn't in it using it for a sauna. Claire has had a few
PS> Saunas herself and has turned shrimp pink in the process.
PS> time we will announce a name for the icky stuff we will
PS> use in the Cauldron here. We already have two candidates:
PS> Kelreuthian Stew
PS> Baldegryve Broth
PS> So please submit a name for the contest. The winner will
PS> receive three free passes out of the Cauldron.
Insecticided grain.
For strip mined mountain's majesty,
Above the asphalt plain.
Man sheds his waste on thee.
And hides your pines,
With billboard signs,
From sea to oily sea."
Is Tiggers are wonderful things!
Their tops are made out of rubber,
Their bottoms are made out of springs!
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, bouncy,
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm the only one!
Is Tiggers are wonderful chaps!
They're loader with vim and with vigor!
They love to leap in your laps!
They're jumpy, bumpy, trumpy, thumpy,
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is that I'm the only one!
Tiggers are awfully sweet!
Everyone elouse is jealous!
That's why I repeat...
Repeat!
Is Tiggers are wonderful things!
Their tops are made out of rubber!
Their bottoms are made out of springs!
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, bouncy,
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is that I'm the only one!
Ooooooh I'm... the only one!
Background
Clothing and Swimsuits
Command functions
Food and Drink
Paraphernalia
Sailboarding
Scuba Diving
Snorkeling
Surfing
Swimming
Watersliding
Engineering Functions
Main Power
Mortality Failsafes
Programming
Weather Control
BARDROOM, RENOVATIONS TO:
(Return to Top of main volume)
(Return to Encyclopedia Introduction)